Friendship

There’s one cliché that we’ve encountered a lot in our lives. It is that people change. That phrase only covers the surface but things beneath a lot of times are much deeper than thought.

As a growing woman, I can say that I have a considerable amount of friends in my life. It always happens that I have more than one closest and best friends in the community I involve in. The truth is what I am about to talk about is not just a personal story of my life. I can assure you that it happens all the time to anybody.

Another turning point;
a fork stuck in the road

So what is it? it’s the eternal dilemma of friends or lovers. As a person who has many friends we often find ourselves standing at the crossroads over and over again…

It’s about whether we choose our friends or our lovers..

I admit it’s a tough choice. If I could I don’t want to have to choose but life is about the choices we make.

it's not a question
but a lesson learned in time.
It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.

For me, I just do my best to divide my time…

My best friends will always understand me and the one person who deserves to be loved will share my time with my friends… that’s just the way it goes. Supposedly..

However, it is also often that one chooses to be with the boyfriend or girlfriend more than being with the friends… and it’s not okay. No matter how great our boyfriend/girlfriend and our relationship are, we always need our friends.

The amazing thing about friends is although you don’t spend as much time with them than your lovers, they will always accept you. No matter how much you disappoint them. When things go bad in your relationships, real friends won’t leave you alone… they will be there by your side.

So take the photographs
and still frames in your mind.
Hang it on a shelf
In good health and good time.
Tattoos of memories
and dead skin on trial.
For what it's worth,
it was worth all the while.

So for all of you who’s got friends, hang out with them… cause these times may be the best times of your lives..

So, this post I dedicate to my best friends who let me spend time with my boyfriend and also include my boyfriend in our activities.

And my sweetheart Dimas Jaka Hartadi who never refuses to let me spend time with my friends.

Also to my great friends during my exchange year in the USA, the times we spent together will never be forgotten.

I love you all.

just nothing

I am about to participate in SDC. I had expected to be the delegate of the United States (oh How I long for that) but instead I got Bangladesh. Not that there's anything wrong with it, I just want a position that is clear and firm. That's all. Despite that, I would definitely do my best and I really think It would be fun. Now I just gotta get materials on it which i admit is not easy.. hehehe there's too much info on the net and sometimes we just can't find what we're looking for. oh well!

Feliz Ano Nuevo

HAPPY NEW YEAR’S!!!
I don’t think it’s too late to say that. We are still within the first week of January anyway…
And especially when the memory of the New Year’s Eve celebration is still clear in my mind. What I did was throwing a party/gathering in my house. I invited a few friends and we just basically hung out, watching movies, cooking and eating, playing card games, we had fireworks, and we ate too much sugar due to the snacks being all sugary… yeah, as if I would even care about dieting on occasions like New Year’s Eve.

Ever since my mom doesn’t work at a local hotel we don’t get to spend the New Year’s eve at the hotel anymore. Hm… I used to love it. Now I just have to figure out what to do on New Year’s.

Anyway, the only other New Year’s party that was almost like the one this year was in 2003 going to 2004. I attended a house party with Amanda (since it was her neighbor’s) where I ate a bunch of beer bread and I actually liked it.. hehehe it doesn’t make us drunk tho’ so I thought it was halal and kept eating it… I was actually glad spending it there. I did have

However, this time is so special because I have miraculously celebrated the second New Year’s eve with the same boyfriend. I am giddily way out of my mind happy with the occasion. Yes. There’s a first for everything. I agree. Other than that I was happy to host a party where I could provide a shelter for my best friend Dian where she could freely hang out with her boyfriend without any burden that she would normally have. It does make me happy to see her happier than ever. I wish them both the best. And of course for my relationship as well.

Things aren’t always easy in this relationship (I think I’ve said it more times than I would like to admit) and instead of giving up I chose to work on things. I just sense that it is something worth keeping. And it’s true that time passes and makes some us all grow although in different speed.. I realized I’ve grown. I’m not into casual crushes or unserious relationship anymore. I’ve learned that it’s more important to be in a relationship in which I’m certain that the guy I’m in relationship with is in love with me. I don’t want casual dating anymore. I’ve tasted it. Felt the happiness and pain it caused me, it turned out I’m just simply not cut out for it. See, by experiencing we will figure out what it is that we really want. That’s just how it works for me.

I’ve always known that I have a wild side. It’s not something I’m trying to hide nor is it something I’m proud of. It’s just a part of me that I actually accept. For a long time I was waiting for someone just as wild or love me strongly and unconditionally to tame that. Thank God, I’ve found him. So… I’m glad I have experienced stuff and I wouldn’t regret anything that happened in my past because those moments are the moments that shape the current “me” and what or how I am now will shape the “me” in the future. It’s just how it goes. I’m not going to be ashamed if people say bad things about me. I’m the only one who knows exactly what happened. It might not seem good to some people but I know how good it felt and I’m happy that I don’t have to grow old regretting not doing stuff in my future. Sometimes I even think that those people who keep seeing the negatives are actually deep down feel that they’ve done more.

So…back to the New Year’s spirit… I just want to start fresh this year and do better. I would like to get as many experiences as I can this year. To have fun but still on the safe side since I’m turning 21 in a couple of weeks and I’m trying to get wiser due to my desire not to be called “older but none the wiser”…

I’m actually excited to start this year. I would like to work on eliminating the bad things about myself. I know I love myself but improving ME is also the sign that I love myself, it’s even the proof of how much I love myself J
I would also like to visit at least three places outside Makassar I’ve never been to (since traveling always meant either fun or great adventures or both. How exciting) and visit Selayar again. I haven’t been there for ages and I think my dad really wants me to go there. He doesn’t push me to go there but I just know that he wants me to. That’s the thing with my parents they just direct me but it’s always up to me to choose the direction. I’m so lucky to have parents like them J (Luv u, Mom n Dad) who aren’t so pushy the whole time but at the same time I have absolutely no intention to disappoint them. That’s the kind of parenting that really works. Hehehe


Another thing that I really wish to accomplish in 2008 is to go abroad on a scholarship. I know I’ve done it before but why not the second time? I really want to go back to the US for a while since every time I call there, they all just wish that I were there… Penny kept asking me whether I’ve found a program that would allow me to go back to the states or not. The thing is I haven’t found any program. So far, the only program I know is the one for Australia. Even so, I would still apply. I really wish everybody who loves me supports this decision and not makes it any harder for me to leave.

Going back to the States isn’t on my agenda this year since I can’t find any program that would take me to the US in my position as an undergraduate student and also the cold harsh fact that I don’t have any savings that would enable me to afford flight tickets to the US. I’m so realistic in that department. However on my life agenda, visiting the US has to happen. I just love it so much there.

Another thing that I want this year is to be able to speak Spanish. I know there’s very little chance for this but it has to work. I am studying international relations and it only makes more sense for me to be able to speak more than one foreign language. I know I know much more Spanish than everybody I know but I just have to be able to speak it more fluently. I hate to think that I’m really starting to lose it.

Well… I think that’s pretty much covered what I want to talk about regarding New Year’s Celebration.. New Year’s, New Beginning. Everybody’s got a chance to start over.